Home Schooling

Not since the invention of Pine-Sol which my mother bought by the gallons and subjected us kids to on a regular morning basis, has such an idea not only been accepted by polite society, but embraced. At least with Pine-Sol, the effects of your brain slowly shrinking due to lemony fumes and the gradual rupture of your nasal membranes could never be on par with a full day of your own children at home with workbooks and any sort of organized teaching arrangement. Of course, it has been done by noble, fearless parents and only by following the National Homeschoolers Guide to Getting Ready: 1.obtain a clean clutter free work space for optimal studying In our case, we'd have to move to the washer/dryer in the garage or Dick & Eileen's house next door. They have the same decor since 1972 and refuse to put anything but faded deer coasters atop their Montgomery wards coffee table. 2. Purchase sturdy and colorful supplies and pencils Unless someone has gone miniature golfing recently, you'd be lucky to find a stub of a pencil anywhere in the general living area of the house. Of course, the attic and crawlspace have ample areas to search for once sharpened pencils and such. You just have to put on pair of blue coveralls and risk getting bit by a brown Recluse Spider while on your search. 3. Remove all distractions A humming refrigerator in our house is a distraction. Forget about the phone ringing, no one under 20 knows what a landline is anyways; but place the kids within eye site of the kitchen, and they'll need trips to get an apple, water or just to slam the vegetable crisper for amusement. We'd have to sit out on the grass with a camel-pack water bag strapped to their backs to keep them remotely undistracted. 4. Encourage any progress your children make though small by rewarding with field trips to the library, zoo and Juvenal hall. Don't waste money of pricey reward stickers most party stores sell at a premium, rather make your own from banana stickers and just explain to your children that Chiquita means excellent in spanish. This would be a good lead-into a foreign language. Yes, there are many great reasons to home school your own children, saving gas, commute frustrations, clothing battles and the endless lunch packing; but the best incentive has to be the lack of restrictions on what you can use for art supplies; the evenings uncooked macaroni, old wastebands on dad's old underware and small pellet cat or dog food perfect for little fingers to create a memorable collage.